By Mandy X. Hu
The PhD candidate looks at me in confusion. ‘I want to finish my PhD,’ he repeats.
‘That’s a goal,’ I explain, ‘not a value. My question is: what is an important value for you?’
It’s an understandable confusion. Many people don’t know the difference between goals and values, and have never pondered the question. Therefore, as I believe it’s an important – no, even an essential – question that impacts our perspective on happiness and life, I am dedicating this blog to it.
So, what is the difference between a goal and a value? A goal is a specific result we aim to achieve or accomplish, such as ‘I want to get a promotion at work’. Or as the previous example: ‘I want to finish my PhD’. A value, on the other hand, is a guiding principle that is important to us and influences our actions and decisions. For instance, my values are authenticity and kindness. Values shape how we live our lives and what we consider meaningful. In the following paragraphs I want to live up to my other value, which is helpfulness, by encouraging you to center values in your life rather than goals.
We have greater influence over our values
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I have anything against goals. Having goals can be motivating, and it can give our actions direction. The goal that most of you have, ‘to finish your PhD’, will motivate you to plan projects, prioritize writing the necessary articles, and putting in the hours to make it happen within your contract. I know you hear the ‘but’ coming, so here it is: But even if you do all that, there is no guarantee that you will finish your PhD, right? Your experiments may not cooperate, your supervisors may not support you in what you need, the funding may suddenly dry up, or you may not have the traits or skills to pull this PhD off (and there is no shame in that). Goals are subject to uncontrollable and unpredictable factors. If we measure our success and happiness by the number of reached goals, this may very well result in disappointment. What if we, instead, center values in our lives? Let’s replace ‘I want to finish my PhD’ with ‘I want to perform my work with curiosity by learning and discovering new knowledge’ or ‘I want to show perseverance by moving forward despite challenges and setbacks’. Compared to our goals, our values are more within our influence, which is why they provide a sustainable source of happiness.
Values can bring fulfilment at any moment
The thing about goals is, assuming we’ll reach them, there are long stretches in between when we don’t feel fulfilled. Coming back to the example of ‘I want to finish my PhD’: from the moment you set this goal to the moment you achieve it, there’s a stretch of four years (if you’re lucky, because the average PhD takes five years)! And even for short-term goals, such as submitting an article or finishing some analyses, the waiting period will likely last much longer than the feeling of achievement. So here comes another great advantage of focusing on values rather than goals: values can bring fulfilment at pretty much any moment. When we set out to perform our work with curiosity and perseverance, can’t we do that at this very moment? And even if we’re not working at the moment, can’t we be curious and persevering in other aspects of our lives at any moment? So values, in contrast to goals, can provide a constant source of fulfilment and happiness.
That said, this doesn’t mean that we constantly have to live up to certain values. There may be times when it’s wise to be flexible in our values (e.g. knowing when to stop rather than persevere) or when several values are competing (e.g. practicality versus curiosity) and we have to choose one over the other. I’d like to see values not as rigid entities, but as alive and evolving – always ready to be chosen and expressed by us.
Values are meaningful
Imagine you’re at your own funeral (apologies for forcing this gloomy image on you, but it’s such a powerful exercise!). What would you want your loved ones to say in your eulogy? What do you want to be remembered for? Probably not that you published a paper in Nature or achieved your PhD cum laude (if yes, then stop reading now and please accept my sincere apologies for wasting your time). I know what I would like to be remembered for: that I lived my life with authenticity and kindness, and that I tried to help others by providing sincere presence, an open-mind, and empathetic words. Unlike the arguments described earlier to choose values over goals, this last argument is not supported by logic. Nonetheless, this argument is equally if not more compelling: values are intrinsically meaningful to us. They encourage us, fulfill us, make us feel happy, human, and alive.
Do you recognize yourself in this article? The PhD advisors are here for you. Get in touch with us for a consultation (phdadvisor@amsterdamumc.nl).